What Type of Love Do You Deserve?
Often times when we are mistreated we get upset and say, “Why would this person treat me this way?” or “Why does that person continuously cause me heartache and pain?” When in fact we should be asking ourselves the following:
Why am I allowing this person to treat me this way?
Why is this treatment acceptable to me?
It’s was a choice...it was your choice. You have allowed this.
I know this will sting a little bit but it’s so necessary to grow. It’s all in love ❤
It stung for me too and it was a tough pill to swallow. But I’m so grateful for the revelation.
Be gentle with yourself and take some time to process and reflect. When you are emotionally ready ask yourself the following:
Why am I accepting bad treatment from this person?
Why do I accept less?
Why do I feel that I that I deserve inferior treatment?
Why haven’t I formed boundaries with this person?
Do I have feelings of low self worth? And Why?
What type of love did I receive as a child?
Did I grow up with in an emotionally healthy environment?
Breath it’s a process.
Often times, the type of love that we accept from a partner is a direct result of the love we were given as a child. For an example, my father left my family and started a new family. He abandoned us. He was a “rolling stone”. Growing up my parents constantly argued and fought. It was all very toxic. My mother left and came back multiple times then one day she was done for good. Unfortunately, as a child I never witnessed a healthy relationship.
As an adult I found myself in the same type of relationships. Often times the partners that I chosen were very similar to my father. On a subconscious level the love that was modeled for me was the type of love that I felt that I deserved. It was the type of love my father had given to my mother and it was the type of love given to me. After my father left our home he wasn’t really present physically or emotionally. I felt abandoned.
As an adult I now understand that my father did the best that he was capable of doing.
Unfortunately, my father was abandoned as a child and raised in a very toxic abusive environment. My father did the best within his capacity. He wasn’t the best but he was my daddy. He always made sure I had a car and I had a safe place to live. I love him and appreciate him for being there for me in those ways.
It wasn’t until much later in life that I realized that the decisions I made and the people I attracted was connected to my childhood trauma. After years of toxic relationships, self loathing, negative thought patterns, vicious cycles of drama and trauma I finally realized that something must to change. I must change. I must work on me. I must look within myself and heal. I must realize my self worth. I must challenge and change those negative though patterns that told me I was less than and unworthy. I must realize my own worth. I must realize that my self worth is not connected to a relationship. Nor do I need the approval or validation of a man in order to feel good about myself. I must realize who I am in GOD and who HE created me to be.
The Almighty created me to love and be loved. He created me for greatness. HE showed me that he loves me despite of everything I’ve done and everything I’ve experienced. He loved me first and HE loves me the greatest.
“For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God. For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee. In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer.”
Isaiah 54:5-8 KJV
Healing and growing is a process. I would love to help you on this journey. I can work with you and coach you on a personal level as well. Please visit https://emotionalwc.com/ for additional information.
Take care and be well.
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